Archive for May, 2010
The Blessing for your Graduate
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For many of us, graduation has come up swiftly. Emotions get stirred and trying to figure out how to verbalize them can get swept under the rug with the dust that the vacuum didn’t pick up as you were frantically getting the house ready for guests.
The formal blessing, spoken in the presence of family and friends is IMPORTANT because it tells your child that you cared enough to process your thoughts and feelings, it speaks belonging over them, and it speaks love that is based on who they are, not what they have accomplished.
To help you process your feelings and turn them into a formal blessing/a meaningful speech that you can give at your child’s open house or other graduation celebration, I recommend following the pattern demonstrated by The Heavenly Father to publically bless Jesus on his “graduation” (his public baptism).
You Are Mine
Whom I Love
With You I Am Well Pleased
1) You Are Mine: Speak of a physical and character trait that resembles the family.
Example: Laura, you have the brown eyes of your mother, and the strong will of your grandfather. As you grow more beautiful each day, you are no push-over and you are willing to do what it takes to get what you want.
2) Whom I Love: Speak of how you felt about the day you met and how that feeling continues to grow.
Example: I’ll never forget the day you were born. I was so excited to see you and hold you in my arms. I didn’t think I could love you more. But I was wrong. Watching you grow into the man/woman you are today, that love has grown.
3) With You I Am Well Pleased: Share that you are proud of who they are today and you will always be there for them. Focus on your commitment to him/her as your daughter/son and how nothing could change your love for her/him.
Example: Laura, one more thing I want to share with family and friends here together, I am so proud of you. I know you are not perfect and I certainly am not perfect, but no matter what, I am here for you. I am proud of you not only for all the great things you have accomplished, but because of who you are. You are my daughter, and I will always love you.
Write up your blessing by hand, wrap it as a gift, have them open it, and then read it aloud. The gift of your blessing is PRICELESS and will be TREASURED forever as will the special relationship with you.
Share your blessing ceremony with other families on our Family-iD Facebook Page.
Courtesy of Fathers.com
Social Media Parenting – Part 4
Posted by: | CommentsSetting Appropriate Usage Limits
As with any digital pastime, too much social media use can become a distraction, especially for kids. Yet locking them out of the social web (either partially or entirely) would be doing them an educational and cultural disservice. The key is to find balance.
“It’s stunning how many hours per day kids spend with some kind of screen,” said Rayworth. “I think if most families step back and really do the math, they’ll find a lot of consumption even among little kids. One option is requiring that for every hour your kid spends online … they then spend an hour doing non-screen things and hanging out with live people in person. That can be eye-opening.”
“Technology is changing the landscape, the demands, and the context for [children’s] educational experiences,” said Blaney. “Again, without a real understanding and appreciation for how technology is being used and the fundamental impact that it has on their child’s future, parents run the risk of being a hindrance in their teen’s education.”
Be fair but firm, and have a good understanding of the technologies to know when it’s becoming too much.
Good Parenting? There’s No App for That
There will always be a technology and culture divide between parents and children. But with a little extra effort, perhaps it doesn’t always have to be so big.
“Much like driving a car or going off to college, parents have to hope that they have instilled good values and have taught their kids enough to handle situations they will encounter on social media,” said Giarrusso.
If you’ve liked the blog series, don’t forget to connect with us to join the newsletter RSS feed, follow us on twitter @familyID or on Facebook.com/FamilyID for future content to help you lay the foundation for your family.
Once again, a special thanks for this great article by Matt Silverman and courtesy of the folks at Mashable.com
Social Media Parenting – Part 3
Posted by: | CommentsThe Fine Line Between Participating and Spying
While it’s important to take an active role in your child’s online life, there are personal boundaries that should be respected and adjusted based on the child’s age, maturity, and earned trust. While public posts on a social network may be fair game, things like e-mail messages and passwords could be considered an important threshold of maturity.
“Parents have a right to have their kids’ passwords, particularly younger teens,” said Blaney. “When teens get into the upper levels of high school, different rules may make sense for teens who prove themselves to be trustworthy.”
Remember, social networks are just that — social. They tend to be an extension of what kids do and say in their “physical” social circles — much of which is not intended for parental consumption.
“During the teen years, they often experiment with various personas. Am I like Britney? Am I like my older cousin Jamie? A teen may change her look, her friends, [and] her activities during this natural and important exploration process,” said Blaney. “It makes sense that some of this experimentation will take place over and through the communication channels that they utilize, including texting and social networks.”
If you’re intruding on your teen’s personal online space, she’s likely to take it underground. Remember, she’ll always be one step ahead of you technologically, so it’s unlikely you’ll win that race. If you’re willing to give up having passwords, you should trust that simply being a part of her online community (from day one, if possible) will be enough to ensure good behavior.
“Be a presence on your teen’s online profile, but in the background,” said Blaney. “Some parents like to post on their kids’ Facebook pages, but that isn’t necessary to do an effective job of monitoring (and may be a real turn-off to your teenager). Often, just letting your teen know that you look regularly is enough.”
In the final installment, Part 4 of Social Media Parenting, we’ll explore How to Set Appropriate Limits. You won’t want to miss this critically important series, so connect with us: join the newsletter RSS feed, follow us on twitter @familyID or on Facebook.com/FamilyID.
Special thanks for this great article by Matt Silverman and courtesy of the folks at Mashable.com
