Social Media Parenting – Part 3

The Fine Line Between Participating and Spying

While it’s important to take an active role in your child’s online life, there are personal boundaries that should be respected and adjusted based on the child’s age, maturity, and earned trust. While public posts on a social network may be fair game, things like e-mail messages and passwords could be considered an important threshold of maturity.

“Parents have a right to have their kids’ passwords, particularly younger teens,” said Blaney. “When teens get into the upper levels of high school, different rules may make sense for teens who prove themselves to be trustworthy.”

Remember, social networks are just that — social. They tend to be an extension of what kids do and say in their “physical” social circles — much of which is not intended for parental consumption.

“During the teen years, they often experiment with various personas. Am I like Britney? Am I like my older cousin Jamie? A teen may change her look, her friends, [and] her activities during this natural and important exploration process,” said Blaney. “It makes sense that some of this experimentation will take place over and through the communication channels that they utilize, including texting and social networks.”

If you’re intruding on your teen’s personal online space, she’s likely to take it underground. Remember, she’ll always be one step ahead of you technologically, so it’s unlikely you’ll win that race. If you’re willing to give up having passwords, you should trust that simply being a part of her online community (from day one, if possible) will be enough to ensure good behavior.

“Be a presence on your teen’s online profile, but in the background,” said Blaney. “Some parents like to post on their kids’ Facebook pages, but that isn’t necessary to do an effective job of monitoring (and may be a real turn-off to your teenager). Often, just letting your teen know that you look regularly is enough.”

In the final installment, Part 4 of Social Media Parenting, we’ll explore How to Set Appropriate Limits.  You won’t want to miss this critically important series, so connect with us: join the newsletter RSS feed, follow us on twitter @familyID or on Facebook.com/FamilyID.

Special thanks for this great article by Matt Silverman and courtesy of the folks at Mashable.com