The Safety Net – Part 3

Courtesy Dennis and Barbara Rainey of FamilyLife

Granting forgiveness is difficult, too

As difficult as it is to ask for forgiveness, it‘s no walk in the park to grant forgiveness when you have been wronged. I often advise any relationship to take out a joint membership in the Seventy Times Seven Club.
This club began when Peter asked Jesus how many times we must forgive one another. Peter wondered if seven times would be enough? Christ answered, “No, seventy times seven” (Matt. 18:21–22). In other words, forgive an infinite number of times, not just when you feel like it.

You can tell whether you have forgiven your partner/spouse by asking yourself one question: Have I given up my desire to punish my partner/spouse? When you lay aside that desire and no longer seek revenge, you free your partner/spouse and yourself from the bonds of your anger. Forgiveness cannot be conditional.

Once you forgive, that‘s it. Feelings may still be raw, and it is not hypocritical to not feel like forgiving your spouse. If someone has hurt you, you can choose to forgive immediately but still be processing feelings of disappointment or rejection. Forgiveness is a choice, an act of the will—not an emotion. It may take a while for your feelings to catch up with your will. But your will needs to respond to the scriptural mandate to forgive your spouse.

In Part 4, the final installment of this series The Safety Net, we’ll discover how to handle “major wrongs”. Subscribe to the feed so you won’t miss it!  And join our Facebook community page to be known and needed for family, marriage & parenting skills and sharing.