Many of you have done the Family-iD workshop or have otherwise been exposed to the teachings of Family Vision Ministries over its first 13 years of existence. For those that have, this is where we are asking for your feedback.
By putting some real thought, and answering just this 1 question, will lead us to our best practices as we look to lead 1 Million Families Worldwide thru Family-iD. That Question is:
What are some specific, unique & tangible things Family-iD can truly be the best in the world at providing, and/or teaching?
We need your thoughts, now sound off!
Now that you know the importance of being a verbalizing dad (or mom), here is a snapshot of Action Points for the Verbalizing Dad:
● With your daughter, think “face-to-face” love — a direct approach. With your son, think “shoulder-to-shoulder,” although he needs some “face-to-face” love too.
● When you’re correcting or disciplining your child, remind yourself that you need to express your love for him even in that situation.
● Express your love for your children verbally. Talk about the pride that swells in you when you see them in particular situations. Praise a character trait or an accomplishment. Or just look in their eyes and say, “You know, it’s really great being your dad.”
● Do your kids ever say, “If you loved me, you would …”? Don’t get dragged into those arguments. Just keep loving him or her, and let your actions speak for themselves.
● Count the number of affirming touches you give your kids in a day, then seek to double it the next day … and again the next.
● Take very seriously the way you model for your kids who God is as their heavenly Father. You can’t be perfect, but strive to love them unconditionally … and seek their forgiveness when you don’t.
● Take the time to Write a Letter of love and affirmation to your kids. There is nothing more powerful for a kid, than a keepsake letter from their dad. I have one from my dad framed in my office from when I was about 13 years old. My girls have letters tacked up in their room or folded in their diary from me to them. When writing letters, describe positive character qualities, and give examples whenever possible.
So that’s it on this series: The Verbalizing Dad. If you’ve gotten anything out of it, connect with us on Facebook, Click “Family-iD” below, and “Like” or “Share” it with those you love and lead.
“I have a hard time even praying the Lord‟s Prayer,” she said. “The first words, ‘Our Father’, always remind me how disappointed I am with my father.” Others in the circle nodded their heads, some wanting to say even more. What a sad situation… Every earthly father disappoints.
“But even as he spoke, a bright cloud came over them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.” Matthew 17:5
Not to be able to call God a heavenly Father… Part of the problem rises because of definitions. We forget sometimes that God isn‟t called heavenly Father because he is like our dads; rather we all have fathers whose responsibility is to remind us by their character and actions of our perfect heavenly Father. Yes, every earthly father disappoints. The tragedy comes when we allow those disappointments to cut us off from our heavenly Father.
In his book Raising a Modern-Day Knight (Tyndale House), author Robert Lewis points out that parents can gain some priceless direction from the way God the Father treated God the Son. These insights are particularly powerful in a father‟s relationship with his son. Lewis uses as his starting point the several occasions in which God the Father made public pronouncements about his Son.
Those statements include three ideas children need to hear from their parents: 1) I love you (“my dearly loved Son”); 2) I‟m proud of you (“who brings me great joy”); and 3) you have skills (“listen to him”). The third one requires extra thought because it is specific to each child, highlighting his or her skills. Read through each of these again and ask yourself when was the last time each of your children heard any or all of these from you.
There are many ways to get these points across, but speaking them must be part of the equation. Parents often try to get by, saying, “I show my kids I love them.” There‟s nothing wrong with that as long as it‟s not a substitute for speaking the words. Yes, they can be surprisingly hard today (particularly for men). But many children (perhaps even you) would admit that the most manly, godly thing your father ever did (or could have done) was to put those messages into words for you.
Whether or not you heard them, make sure your kids don‟t leave home without hearing them from you. Join the movement of great dad’s (and mom’s) who commit to Verbalize their love, pride, and support of their children. Click “Like” below if you are one of those committing today!